Haus of Puke

So I think it is time to change the name of the blog to "Nights out with Jamie." I swear I should have a reality show, classier than the Jersey Shore but..well a million times classier than Jersey Shore. It would be centered around the girls guide to being a classy, single lady who's the life of the party while being a responsible adult in Dayton Ohio. Yeah maybe not the last part, but the last week has been crazy. For instance, I couldn't find my credit card and it took me and my two girlfriends to try and patch the week together to figure out where we were. We got hit on by a one armed man, gave up a one night stand for funfeti cake and failed two tests just to drink. It has been one world wind after another. But one great ass time. We are actually thinking about writing a book, at least I am seriously considering it. I think the girls thought I was joking but I wasn't. I will keep you all posted about my nights and book status. I will definitely need to use Microsoft Word first because my spelling sucks.

But, my house should have a name. You know how some people name their cars? Well my house's name is called "haus of puke". I swear it has to be something about my house. I mean people (not me--my story is the front porch) but people have gotten sick the the most random places in my house. Why can't they make it to the toilet, oh yeah because when they do, they miss and get the walls. That has been a two month project painting the walls. But last night, my friend Lauren and I were talking about if we had a reality show what our "names" would be and she said she wanted her name to be Weave. (She has breast cancer, so its her fake hair lol). So Weave, in her classy way of doing things got tons of shots bought for her at the bar, therefore, she threw up. Now most normal people would get sick in the toilet, but she has to get sick in my bathroom sink, not even a foot away from the toilet. Really?!?! I had to plunge my sink this morning. Gross. haha. Well this is the most recent experience.

Over the past year, since I moved back in with my parent it has just been a treat throwing parties. I have had someone throw up in my closet. Yes, my walk in closet full of clothes. Oh and this is after I gave up my bed to them. Fail. I have had someone throw up in the limo on MY birthday. That would be my other bestie friend Morgan. We haven't discussed her reality show nickname. lol But her good old self def in bathtub, front porch and she has actually made it to the toilet. I had our friend who is usually our DD, get sick everywhere in my living room. I have had my cousin get sick in the recycling bin, when the trash can was sitting right next to it. Oh and for the win, one of my lovely sorority sisters came into town for a wedding we both went to. After getting so drunk and throwing up in a flower pot at the Presidential Banquet Center and almost getting sick in the cab, I put her to bed. Pissed off because I couldn't go to the after party because I was taking care of her, I started watching TV (at 2am mind you). I hear her getting sick, come around the corner to see her throwing up in my WHITE laundry basket in my hall way. Needless to say psycho switch flipped, I started yelling and I drug her to the toilet, dead weight and layed her on it. She was like "I can't breath". Now imagine this while I tell you how I responded, body completely straight an incline looking like a wedge, only thing holding her up is her chin. After I pulled her out of my laundry basket and physically moved her in the bathroom I yelled "Can't breath? Then get on your knees and do the work, you F*ing threw up in my laundry basket." Her response, "I thought that was the toilet." I mean seriously?!?!?!

So end result, I will still be having people over even though they like to puke at my house because we have a GREAT time before these things go down. Therefore, Book is in the works of being made, it may take a couple years but it will be done! :)

Oh and staying with my blog, make your mark on the world, have fun, get crunk but make sure you are still making time to touch someones life. :)

"It started off, "hey cutie where you from"
And then it turned into oh no, what have I done
And I don't even know his last name" -Carrie Underwood

Oops Dawg :)